MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 3 MOVIE REVIEW

M:I:III
** SPOILER ALERT ** How would you feel if you wanted to see a summer blockbuster but ended up watching a powerpoint presentation instead? Not just a normal presentation, but one that runs for two hours and transitions from one slide to another in twenty minute intervals. Yes I know, I would be pretty steamed about it too. And thats exactly how I felt while watching Mission impossible 3 . Deception and trickery has always been the name of the game when it comes to any MI movie plotline but I soon realized, this time it also applies to the audience. I am so furious right now (Somebody robbed me of my 6 bucks!!!) that I have decided to show you the whole movie right here on this small blog. "Isin't that piracy?", you may ask. Well, you be the judge.

Hi! I am Ethan Hunt and this is my team of super cool agents trying to rescue the girl in blue. BTW she is an agent too.

Oops!! Didnt realize she had a bomb in her head. "Guys, if she dies it will be yet another failed mission. Oh wait! Yeah, she's dead."

She said something about one of my bosses working with the bad guy before she died, but hey!! Arent all bosses bad guys in cliche spy movie plotlines?

Well I know I failed my mission but I dont care because I am so much in love with my newly wed wife. WOOHOO! I AM IN LOVE!

Somebody warned me that its dangerous for agents to marry but I have the feeling this is going to be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.

"Well agents, another chance for us to screw up. It seems we have to climb the vatican wall, shown on the left and capture the guy, shown below."

"I know he looks fat and all but mark my words, he is an evil overlord. If we dont apprehend him in time, he might get hold of the Rabbit's foot. I dont know what that is but I am sure it's worse than Athletes foot."

Hey guess what? We didnt screw up and all we had to do was blow up a gallardo. "Mission well executed, agents. Super qool poses for the production photo."

Oops! I spoke too soon. The guy's escaping. Guess we screwed up this one too. lol.

"OK, OK! I am sorry I asked. You can have him."

"HEY I SAID I AM SORRY. HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT?"

It seems that the bad guy not only escaped but he kidnapped my wife too. How could this happen? Now I have to go to Shangai and get the Rabbit's foot for him.

Can you see those tall buildings in the background. I have to slingshot myself from one tall building to another and land on the roof of the other building perfectly so that I can slide down the slope and take out all the guards while sliding down and .... or in other words it involves a complex break-in plan like the other MI's. Hey, you cant make an MI movie without a break-in, can you?

I still dont know how I managed to get the Rabbit's foot (actually nobody knows.. hehe) but I got my parachute entangled with a truck on my way back. Rofl! How did I manage to get this job in the first place?

Oh! it's my other boss who is working with the bad guy. He tried to make me steal the Rabbit's foot for him. Aaah! Now it makes perfect sense.

Bang!!! Bang!!! Take that, all you bad guys. You too, Boss.

Thank god! my wife is safe and the bomb in my head stopped ticking. I still dont know what the Rabbit's foot is but lets all just go home.

Need I say more? Ok, i guess I have to. Though the action sequences abetted the movies chances of doing well at the box office every other aspect spoilt it. To top it all the movie degrades itself by interlacing the non existent plotline with a love story. Though a lot of critics called this movie the best in the franchise, in my opinion it holds nothing special. Neither does it have the drama that fuelled MI or the brash style that complimented MI 2. Trying to mix elements from both movies, MI 3 ends up tasting like a caramel custard sauteed with peas and onions.

Calling it the closest to the MI series its no surprise that critics liked it but I have never seen the series. Hence, I am going to assume that the series too was written by monkeys. Finally, you start feeling like the mouse (see first photo), trying to pick the good elements from a movie so bad that only one thought keeps resurfacing: mission impossible.

But its MI and it does have an international appeal. I was intially surprised at the fact that the local theatre at Kalamazoo,MI recorded a majority of international audiences, but only intially. I guess all the Tom cruise bashing topped the fanfare to keep most of the American crowds indoors. But not to worry, those who havent seen the movie.... Oh! what am I saying? You just finished seeing the movie right here. The generous person that I am, I shall only charge you five dollars for this online screening. My address is in my profile. Feel free to mail your checks any time you wish. - {BATMAN^V^EXILED}

Movie Links

M:I:III's Official Page

M:I:III's IMDB Page

M:I:III's Trailers